MY OSCAR GOES TO...

First of all, I love the Oscars. With all of the self congratulatory, overblown elements that come with them, they do really attempt to (and largely suceed) in honoring some of the best work of the year. Sure, it's an imperfect, subjective, apples to oranges horse race, but if you care about good movies getting attention (as opposed to popular movies getting attention) It's a very satisfying enterprise.

(I will refrain for now, from addressing the Academy's blind spot for comedy and the very valid point that by nature of having five nominees that there are grievous oversights yearly)

My favorite element, while most derided by many, are the speeches. All of them in fact, because you are truly witnessing the peak moment of someone's life and that is unbeatble drama. I love watching the dweeb from Iceland accepting his Best Documentary Short Award as much as I love the human drama of the team from Iceland unexpectedly winning Olympic gold in the eluge.

And I love the "stars" speeches most of all, because no matter how big they've gotten or how warped by a career in Hollywood, they all began the same way, watching those Oscars as a kid and thinking about what they'd say if they won one. That is who walks up to get that trophy.

Of course, some of my fondness for that stems from having my speech written since I was fourteen. The categories have changed, the "thank you's" are constantly being revised, but the year my name is called at the Oscars, (or the Emmys or Tony's for that matter) I'll have a speech as tight as a drum.

And that is what life in Hollywood is like when all is said and done. "High school with money" is still the definitive quote but I'd like to add "Community theater on steroids."

My Oscar picks to follow.