SHAKIRA, FERGIE AND BRITNEY
For your basic red blooded guy, the greatest fashion development of the past thirty years is the return of the midriff. We who came of age in the seventies were met by the innocent, hippie "halter tops", which completely disappeared in the black leathered 80'. But, hallelujah, midriffs made a triumphant return in the 90's and show no signs of ever leaving.
They've become imbedded in pop culture fashion (which is a double edged sword for me, a dad of two girls) but with Britney, Fegie, Christine Aguilera and Shakira, among others, "Sexy" has a new standard.
You want "Pouty Psuedo Virginal Slut?" Meet Mrs. Federline. "Skanky, But I'd Fuck Her For A Vial of Pennicillin" Then Ms. Aguilera is more your taste.
Fergie is in her own category. The best singer and the most earned sexy quotient. She's not play acting or pushing it, like the first two women.
But, then there is Shakira. The ethnic quality adds to it, sure, she sings well, and is the most naturally hot, but this is all with a qualifcation. I'm not sure she is of the same species as the rest of the women on this list.
Let me explain. I love pizza. I am from Boston, a fine pizza city and now live in Los Angeles, a pizza wasteland. I recently spent some time in New York and had pizza all over the city, all of it spectacular. But at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge on the Brooklyn side is a place called Garibaldi's (I think)
I ate their pizza. I came to one simple conclusion. Their pizza was so astonishing and singular, that either no one else should be allowed to use the term "pizza" again, or Garibaldi's needs to call theirs something else.
Garibaldi's is the Shakira of pizza. Her unforced, smoldering sexiness, her uindenialable talent.
And that midriff. I'd wax poetic about its sinewy goodness, it's mind and agenda all its own, but that would make me sound insane. Remember John Hurt in Alien? How the creature burst horrifically from his stomach during that dinner scene? I watch Shakira gyrate thorugh a song and I easily believe that undulating somewhere between her rib cage and her navel is a cobra trying to escape.
Good god, she makes Fergie's belly look like mine.
A thought. Does that make Domino's the Britney Spears of pizza?